Haunted
by Kaslyna
Summary: After 2x04, Nolan and Amanda spend time together. M-rated, because what isn't with me these days? ;) Enjoy!


**A/N: I told you this would be a tradition! ;) This takes place after the episode.**

When she heard he'd been shot, it took all her strength and willpower not to immediately run to him. Instead she did what she had to, which was attempt to convince Pottinger to let Rafe be free. It didn't work, and she could kick herself. But she's not surprised that when she returns to her room at the NeedWant, Nolan is sitting on her bed with a bottle of Scotch. She smiles softly as she goes to kneel before him, resting her head on his knees. His hand comes to rest in her hair, stroking it gently.

"Hey," he says, gruff; his thigh is stiff from walking here, but he had a feeling she'd seek him out if he didn't immediately find his way to her after the Doc.

"Hey," she kisses his knee tenderly before lifting her head to look at him.

"I'm okay, I promise," he frowns at the worry on her beautiful face, "Seriously. It was a through-and-through. I've had much worse."

"Don't tell me that! Dammit, Nolan, don't you know how worried I would be?" she's panicking, he can see it, and Nolan lifts her by the armpits and pulls her slight frame into his lap, her head burrowing in the crook between his neck and shoulder. His thigh kills from her weight but he's had worse and it's worth it. His arms twine around her and she feels the bottle of Scotch against her back.

"I'm sorry for worrying you," Nolan actually sounds remorseful, and she pulls back enough to look him in the eyes. The concern for her there is astounding, when she should be caring for him. Instead of dwelling on that, she kisses him, soft but passionate, and his moan is enough to make her blood start to sing, demanding she prove he's really okay in only one way.

"Give me that bottle and then you can make it up to me," Amanda tells him, smirking. Nolan complies, handing over the bottle of Scotch. He knows from experience that cutting Amanda off is equal to killing a puppy in her book, and so he won't even tease her.

Nolan watches as Amanda swigs straight from the bottle, the bottle he'd been drinking from, until there's only a little left. She kisses him again and tastes like the Scotch she'd been drinking, and he has the strangest sensation of butterflies when he realizes that they must taste similar.

She gets up from his lap to put the Scotch away. It's worth it when she begins to undress, and he starts to stand to do the same, but Amanda's hand on his chest and her disapproving frown make standing to undress not worth it if it means she stays clothed.

"Amanda," he growls in warning.

"Nolan," she mimics, continuing to disrobe, "Seriously. I doubt Yewll would even approve of this kind of activity so soon after being shot."

"Don't you dare stop," Nolan shoots her a look.

"Wasn't planning on it," she smirks at how whipped he is, continuing so she's just in her underwear, "But at least let me make this as little work for you as I can."

"I can deal with that," his pupils are blown, and he pats his lap, "Come here."

Amanda giggles, coming so she's standing straddling him. When her lips meet his, his groan matches her moan. His hands come into play, one sliding into her hair, the other covering her ass and the scrap of material that covers skin. When she pulls back, she bites her lip before standing back, assessing him.

"Lie on the bed," she commands, and he nods, doing so. She lets him remove his shirt; his jacket was already gone, on her sidetable. His shoes and socks are in the corner, and that makes it easier to just unbutton his pants, shimmying them off. It's a two-person job, but she makes a valiant effort, his hips lifting to help her. Once he's lying before her in just his boxers, Amanda places a palm over his erection, causing Nolan's hips to buck and a hiss to escape his mouth.

Amanda reaches behind her, undoing her bra and tossing it carelessly aside. Then she pulls her panties off. Once she's naked, she pulls Nolan's boxers off, leaving him as bare as she is. She crawls onto him, kissing him once they're fitting together like puzzle pieces.

"Mm," he moans between kisses, "Amanda."

"Yes?" she knows it's a question by his tone.

"Want to taste you," he requests, and she furrows her brow, considering a way to accomplish that without straining his thigh.

Smirking once she's figured it out, she pushes his chest so he's lying on the pillows. Then Amanda moves up so she's straddling Nolan's face, hands gripping the headboard. His hands come to rest on her hips as his tongue flicks out to delve into her. She gasps, her grip on the headboard tightening so hard her knuckles go white. Then one of Nolan's hands leaves her hip, allowing her some movement, but also allowing Nolan to insert a finger into her while his tongue finds her clit. They find rhythm easily, and he eats her out slowly, the burning in her lower abdomen increasing to an almost painful height. Then he removes his finger from within her and replaces it with his tongue as he presses hard on her clit, and Amanda crescendos, crying out his name, thighs quivering, and if not for her strong grip against the headboard-which had been thumping against the wall with each of her movements-she would have collapsed.

Nolan's hands tugging at her hips brings her back to Earth, panting and sweaty. She moves so she's straddling his hips, and one hand goes to his cock, stroking it before placing the tip at her entrance. Nolan's hands on Amanda's hips help her sink onto him, both sighing in relief. Amanda places both hands on the headboard again, causing each of Nolan's upward thrusts to hit her sweet spot. Her breasts are in his face and he can't help sucking a mark on the left one. He laves his tongue on each nipple, and Amanda's rhythm becomes shaky as he brings her closer to her second orgasm. From the way he feels inside of her and the way his own movements are shaky, Amanda knows Nolan is close, too.

She tightens her muscles around him, and he moans. With a few more thrusts from him, he releases, triggering Amanda's second. They moan each other's names and Amanda does her best to milk him for all he's worth. She knows that simultaneous release is something that turns Nolan on like nothing else, and she wants him to feel as good as she does when he's inside of her.

Her hands release the headboard, and she kisses him, openmouthed and fast as their tongues duel, their bodies still joined despite the fact that he's gone soft within her. That turns her on as well, but she'll never admit it. So she sits up and he falls out of her. She crawls down the bed to kiss the slight, puckered scar on his thigh before settling with her head on his stomach, lying so they form a 'T'. She knows he likes this, her hair brushing his cock slightly as they cool down.

Today, she feels his stomach rumble and she chuckles. Scotch on an empty stomach is never a good idea, no matter how much tolerance you have. So when Amanda's less boneless, she sits, not bothering to cover herself. His hand strokes her back gently, tender in a way she enjoys.

"What?" he asks, voice still husky from sex.

"You're hungry," she turns her head to look back at him, "Do you want to eat here, or go find Irisa and make her join us?"

Nolan shrugs, "Up to you."

Gradually, over the past three weeks they've been together, Amanda had come to terms with the fact that they'd be barged in on by his daughter. The first two times had her beet red, but by the sixth time, she no longer cared, instead finding herself annoyed and sexually frustrated. It was the perils of dating someone with a daughter who was also his coworker. Nolan had told Irisa after the first night they'd spent together, after they'd agreed that sex was a good way to decompress and they didn't need to label anything.

"I'll find her," Amanda promises, standing. Nolan admires her as she dresses, leaning down to kiss him before she goes, sucking his bottom lip between her teeth in a way that has him groaning.

"I'll be here," he replies.

Once Amanda's gone, Nolan pulls on his clothes, save for his socks, shoes, and jacket. Then he cooks, using Amanda's minimal supplies to make something halfway decent but that doesn't look appetizing. He's never cooked for Amanda and he's a little nervous, but Irisa's a pickier eater and she likes this dish well enough.

When Amanda returns, Irisa in tow, he kisses Irisa's forehead and Amanda's lips. Amanda frowns at him for standing but says nothing. Irisa shares a look with Amanda and Nolan's momentarily afraid he'd created a monster. He knew that of all the women he'd had relations with, Irisa approved of Amanda the most, and as awkward as her walking in on them could be, Irisa did really look up to Amanda. So when Amanda made time not only for him but for Irisa as well, he couldn't help but feel his heart seize in his chest with affection.

There's two chairs, and Irisa pretends not to notice when Nolan sits on one and pulls Amanda onto his lap. They eat in silence, as they always do, Nolan and Amanda feeding each other occasionally in a way that makes Irisa simultaneously uncomfortable and jealous, yet happy for her adopted father all the same. She's glad he finally found a woman she likes. Not that Kenya was bad, but she had dumped Nolan before Irisa really got to know her.

"Alright," Irisa shoved back from the table, "I'm gonna go before you two decide to do something totally disgusting like rip each others' clothes off. I'll see you tomorrow Nolan."

"See you, kiddo," he squeezes her arm gently as she leaves.

"Don't forget, your shift starts at eight," Irisa warns him; she's covered too many shifts since their return so Nolan could be with Amanda.

"Aye aye," Nolan responds, causing Irisa to roll her eyes, smiling a little as she left.

As soon as the door closed, Amanda's lips crashed onto Nolan's, her hands cradling his face. The angle was slightly awkward, but nevertheless, they made it work. When she pulled back, she smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"Thanks for dinner," she murmurs, "But you should be in bed."

Nolan smirks, "Does that mean you'll be my nurse?"

"Incorrigible," Amanda sighs, but she's smiling at him still, "Undress and get into bed. I'll join you soon."

"Okay," he murmurs, kissing her cheek.

Then Amanda stands, clearing the table while Nolan does as she'd demanded. Once the dishes are done, she uses the bathroom, coming out in just a robe that she allows Nolan to remove, pushing it off her shoulders. She swats his hand away as it finds her breast, ignoring his slight pout.

"I'm exhausted and a little tipsy," Amanda admits, "Besides, you heard Irisa. Your shift starts at eight. If you get up early enough, I'll make it up to you."

Nolan grins wolfishly, returns, "Deal. I'm holding you to that."

Amanda nods in agreement, settling in next to him, her head resting on his chest, above his heart. Within minutes, Nolan's asleep, and Amanda can't help but join him.

**ANANAN**

He's no stranger to nightmares; the war is to blame for that. Nolan knows Amanda has them, too, though he's sure her demons are different. He doesn't ask and neither does she. He's not the type to wake from them; he's silent, suffering through it and waking tired. Nothing that Amanda's figure in the sunlight can't fix. But she's not silent; this is the third time she'd woken him. It'd never been as bad as this, though.

Nolan knows better than to restrain Amanda's thrashing form, and instead accepts he'll probably have a bruise on his clavicle from her elbow. Instead he decides to talk her down, hoping she wakes up in the process.

"Amanda," he murmurs, then louder, "Hey, Amanda! Wake up. It's just a dream. It's okay, baby, it's just a dream. I'm here."

She wakes with a gasp, eyes glazed over and unseeing as the nightmare recedes. Then comes the whimpering, followed by the sobs that tug at his heart and make his eyes prickle. Nolan's never felt so useless.

"Nolan," she gulps in air, and he knows she's panicking when she begins chanting his name like a prayer.

He hesitantly places a hand on her back, looking at her sitting form clutching the sheet like a lifeline. She turns, and the anguish on her face matches the terror and confusion on his. She finally seems to see him, because she's suddenly hugging him, his face mashed into her ample breasts as her body shakes, the nightmare finally losing its grip as his arms twine around her.

"Talk," his voice is shaking like her body, "Please, Amanda. It's never been so bad. I'm gonna pull the concerned boyfriend card now."

Amanda swallows, and when she speaks, her voice is emotionless, detached, "It just drudged up some bad memories is all."

"What did?" Nolan doesn't dare pull away, though her grip loosens.

She kisses the top of his head as she replies, "Talking with Pottinger. He told me about an incident during the war, and I guess it brought back some bad memories."

"What happened?" Nolan finally pulls back, kneeling so he can cup her cheek as he searches her eyes for an answer.

Amanda swallows, admits, "Twelve years ago, I was raped."

Nolan sucks in a sharp breath, but he can tell there's more to it. When she doesn't respond, he prompts, as gently as possible, "And then...?"

"I became pregnant from that rape," Amanda's voice is small, and her body's quaking so hard he almost thinks she's having a seizure, "I let Connor think it was his, but it wasn't. It couldn't have been. And I aborted."

"Connor told me," Nolan admits, uncomfortable with the shame in her earthy eyes, "But he didn't understand why you'd done it. I figured there must have been a good reason."

"I was so ashamed, Nolan," she whispers, "The only people who know are you and Pottinger. The man was never caught, and it no longer matters, but I still have the nightmares. I guess telling someone brought it to the forefront of my mind."

He hugs her tightly, and after a minute, her body slackens, hugging his tightly as she sobs anew. And Nolan's heart breaks for Amanda, for having to relive this. He pulls back when he's sure she's calm enough and cups her face in his hands, kissing her gently. When they break, Nolan rests his forehead against Amanda's.

"I still want you," he murmurs, and a spark lights inside of her; she straddles his lap, situating herself above him, amazed that he can want her after she'd been tainted, amazed that the proof is beneath her. She sinks down onto him with a sigh and moves in a frenzied way.

"Amanda," his tone is concerned, "You don't have to."

"I know," she gasps, "I want you, too."

"Is it wrong that I feel jealous you told Pottinger first?" he asks, moving with her now.

"It doesn't matter," her tone is fierce, "It doesn't matter because you're the one I come home to, not him."

"Exactly my point."

"I couldn't lose you again, Nolan," she admits, swallowing hard, "Not for this."

"I would never leave you because some shtakhole decided to hurt you like that," he growls, "When I look at you, when we're like this, I see _you_. Not your past. _You_, Amanda. And I like what I see. You're always beautiful to me."

She starts crying then, still moving with him. Nolan doesn't stop her because he knows she needs the affirmation that he wants her, _needs_ her even. So when he reaches between them to pinch her clit, she cums with a hoarse cry of his name. He thrusts once more before spilling into her with a grunt, her name the only thing he can say in the wake of ecstasy.

After, they lie entwined, sweat cooling, and she murmurs apologies for hurting his thigh, eventually massaging it. What would normally be arousing now simply makes him exhausted after the emotional hurdles he'd just jumped. Nolan feels like he'd just smashed most, if not all, of Amanda's walls in one go. In the morning, he'll admit some of the shameful stuff he'd done, so she feels like he's willing to be open, too.

Amanda surprisingly sleeps first, and Nolan follows, holding her tightly, cradling her protectively. No more nightmares plague either of them that night.

Instead, all that comes is blissful nothingness.


End file.
